The sign of incredible sadness. That I can get so excited by the purchase of an IBM laptop. Yep, call in the undertakers and clowns, I have officially achieved geek status.

Although perhaps not. Interestingly the first thing I did upon its inceptual launch was elect to have a large purple flower on my desktop, and change the colour of the windows title bar to be a pretty teal colour. So there might be hope for me yet!

Geekiness aside, the reason for my laptop purchase is an idealistic one, of the ‘if you build it, they will come’ school of thought. That is, if I buy a laptop, surely creative and entrepreneurial success will swiftly follow. The plan, of course, was to become a phenomenally famous columnist, novelist and self-made billionairess from my various imagined business ventures, so I figured the first step was buying a computer that would facilitate and inspire such achievements.

Thus, I bought this charming little machine, and therefore, I am now sitting in my room with the shreds of the box it came in scattered around me, typing my inaugural message, a baptism of sorts for my darling laptop.

Will it fall prey to the same obsolescence to which my other vision-inspired purchases have befallen? My top-of-the-range digital camcorder that was supposed to be my vehicle to cinematic heroism before I sold it on eBay a few weeks later for half the cost; my Apple iBook that served more as a DVD player than a laptop after the initial buzz died away; my purchase of several Atkins Diet books to research my revolutionary Atkins Diet based luncheon franchise idea, which were never read; my purchase of several How To Get Published books to achieve the eponymous ends suggested, also never read; my purchase of a gym-oriented MP3 player to inspire my incredible fitness regime, which didn’t fit enough songs on it so was never used… the list goes on. I am at risk of having my dreams trigger the same response as Peter’s wolf cries.

Notwithstanding this, I continue to have blind faith in myself. I am sure this time I will not fail. Surely all the stars are aligned, my chakras are cleaned, my karma is positive, my feng shui is uncluttered, my mindset is prepared.

And as a worst case, I have a darling new laptop to commiserate me if I fail!